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Here's a bit of guidance for the boring old farts of the wheel of animals (that's zodiac to you, ignoramus!), if you can be bothered getting off your bullish backsides to open up and read this. Venus the goddess is retrograde (reverse motion) in your solar twelfth house of hidden enemies, the unseen, institutions and spirituality for the balance of the month. She kisses the great Sol Invicti farewell as they pass one another and April begins, but while the fiery Sun races towards the sensual pleasures of your bovine sign, Venus remains steadfastly perverse in her backward position. You could drink too much, eat too much or begin an affair with a younger person and end up in prison or hospital because of the evil machinations of a jealous rival (one you didn't even know existed), an exhausting scenario for someone as lazy as you! Perhaps you could just start with the 'eating and drinking' part and see how things progress from there. At least you'd be on familiar territory, also a particular neurosis of yours.
With the great Sol Invicti in your solar twelfth house until April 20th, your spirits will be low. Mercury the messenger is dazedly wandering through the disorganized sign of Pisces in your solar eleventh house as the month begins. So, all your deadbeat friends and relatives will be hanging around pretending to cheer you up while they try to borrow money and eat all the food you're too slow to get your hands on. If any of them come up with a bright idea, you could raffle it between you for the novelty value your sign places on human thought (of necessity). This continues for the first week but then the messenger also shifts into Aries and your solar twelfth house, contributing to a now overwhelming air of frustrated depression. But then your so-called friends have buggered off so there'll be no one around to notice. You could hang around at home being charming to yourself and any invisible companions you can conjure into existence on April 9th and 10th when Mercury and Venus conjoin in the spacious vacuum of your solar twelfth house and the inner unconscious. Perhaps all that drinking has finally got to you. Sober up, bullish ones! Things change even if you don't.
In the third week of April, Sol Invicti shifts into your sign, followed rapidly by Mercury the messenger. The mood lifts! Now you'll be talking and laughing as well as eating and drinking (try not to do them all at the same time), if you can find anyone who wants to listen. Don't worry if you can't! You're too insensitive to notice if anyone's interested, so just launch into conversation and keep going come hell or high water. That's your rule of thumb on life anyway. As all of this marvellous solar and mercurial jollity is taking place, sober Saturn sneaks into Gemini, ready to throw a heavy duty spanner into the wheels of your financial workings and also actually push you to say something interesting for the first time in your life. Wonders will never cease!
Money and resources become the issues for the next several years. You might have to actually ask for the pay increase you've been wanting for years. You might go bankrupt and find yourself jesting with the receiver about the vagaries of human existence. Or you might simply come up with the odd witty riposte when someone criticizes you for being stingy (lots of occasions for practice here).
FULL MOON: The Full Moon comes in Libra on April 8th activating your solar sixth and twelfth houses. If you have to take your dog to the vet because he's strained his jaw trying to drag you out of your chair to take him for a walk, just find the cheapest one and hope for the best.
NEW MOON: The New Moon comes on April 23rd in your sign, squaring mysterious Neptune in Aquarius and your tenth house of career and profession. Try to think of something you can do with your life! That exertion should be enough to put you to bed until it's time for next month's forecasts.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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