Asperitus Casting Runes...
Greetings, odious oafs of the bullish persuasion! No niceties! No nastiness! Just vile and bitter prognostications, written by my inestimable self about your worthless selves! Read on!
As giant Jupiter and mystic Neptune cavort with the great Sol Invicti, you visit a fortune-teller who paints your future in glowing terms, little bullish ninnies! You're loaded with funds from your new sexual liaison and wondering what to do. Sober Saturn, the lord of fateful reward moves into Cancer and your solar third house. You reflect upon ideas that will make your fortune. You think weighty thoughts as you watch the cattle trucks pass the busy intersection just up the road from your home. You consult with elderly relatives. You formulate plans and strategies so serious you cannot communicate them to anyone else (there is some mercy in the universe after all).
Mighty Mars clashes with Venus the goddess and you attend a party with your new love. However, you have a startling sexual encounter in the attic of the house with a person from the liquor trade who imports Swedish beer. Charged up with this salacious infidelity, you decide to get out of the communications industry and go into business on your own. Naturally, you choose illicit sex.
As the great Sol Invicti opposes underworld Pluto, you plunge your newfound wealth into a house of ill-repute. You thus kill two birds with one stone as you have a profitable new business in the flesh trade and by dint of this gain access to endless personal gratification for your own desires.
Venus the goddess moves into your second house, testing revolutionary Uranus and money pours in by the bucket load. Though, as Mercury the messenger squares Mars the warrior, your new lover finds out about your sexual profligacy and you have a fierce row that ends in a rain of beer bottles (several of them Swedish).
All goes well on the business front though and when Mercury follows Venus into Gemini, you hire an accountant instead of keeping your money in a pair of unwashed socks under your mattress, left foot for the coins and right foot for the notes. At the Full Moon in Sagittarius and your solar eighth house, you're the lord of lascivious pursuits, the baron of bare buttocks and the count of shapely calves at the newly named House of Flesh.
As mighty Mars clashes with the Lunar Nodes, you break up with your new partner, jettison the Swedish beer importer and descend into the flesh pots of your own domain. As mighty Mars enters Pisces and your solar eleventh house, you decide to do charitable works, to assuage a moderately guilty conscience and create a cover for your nefarious activities.
At the Solstice when the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer, you set up a shelter for the homeless in the sheds at the back of the House of Flesh. You then cull this gathering assembly of itinerants for new staff and apply for government funds for a work opportunity scheme.
Come the New Moon in Cancer, you're loaded, sated and smugly self-satisfied. Great Heavens, little bullish types! You may even be happy. But where is the fly in the massage oil that will bring the doom I promised? Click here next month to read another exciting installment.
Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes