Asperitus Casting Runes...
Greetings, bovine boofheads! Welcome to yet another fatuous year where the purblind lead the purblind and crash like rudderless ships upon the rocks of cruel fate! But enough of the niceties! Let's not waste time on pleasant converse! Let's just be vile and bitter in the prognostication department!
And so we shall! Vamping Venus begins the year in nasty Neptune, so you'll probably have secret affairs at work, embezzle money in order to support a wicked lifestyle and lose interest in your job and thus get sacked. In addition to that, with marauding Mars in arrogant Aries clashing with miserable Saturn as the year begins, you'll be jailed for punching an elderly bus conductor or put yourself into a sanitarium to dry out after excesses with drink, drugs and secret sexual liaisons.
However, as idiot Uranus now moves through tear-stained Pisces and your solar eleventh house, you'll probably meet unusual new friends in prison or in rehab. You may also be swept away by mad inspiration and conceive wonderful new ideas about where your life is going. You may even decide to help people or serve humanity or something equally nauseating. With jolly Jupiter harmonizing with cranky Chiron, you may travel to foreign shores in search of higher knowledge. You may travel to Boston, do a creative tea-making course and hold tea parties on the harbour with guests from Inland Revenue and the British Consulate. Either that or you'll go to Athens and live in the hills, subsisting on wild herbs and honey whilst making obscure prophecies about a wooden wall that will hold back an invading army.
The other possibility is that with lugubrious Saturn in Cancer and your solar third house, you'll be morose, refuse to talk to anyone and spend your days carving wooden clothes pegs in the shape of animals (jolly Jupiter in Virgo) in an effort to earn money after losing your job. When jolly Jupiter moves into Libra, you'll have a holiday in Austria. With a nasty Lunar Eclipse in your sign and the Lunar South Node in Scorpio and your solar seventh house, you'll have a passionate affair. This will be with someone who wronged you in another life and yet you'll make all the same mistakes again, just to prove you really haven't learned a thing in all the years you've been adrift in this benighted world ruled by insane gods. Do have wonderful time, my little things of horn and hoof!