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    Go Back  The Jittery Journeys of June 2004  Go Forward
    Tally ho and yoicks, little bovine boofheads! Welcome to the vile and bitter prognostications for jaded June!

    Last time, you had found success as a singing tour guide and were making vigorous endeavours towards accumulating many buses, each one haunted by inane holograms of your cloddish self. These figures regularly burst into song whilst describing interesting features of such passing landscapes as are to be seen by the witless tourists seated therein. What a jolly little soul you are, spreading joy and light to all who know you. One can only hope such tours will in time wend their way towards precipices, dangerous suspension bridges and other such ‘high risk’ features of the local geography.

    Now, on with the show! A loathsome Full Moon in idiot Sagittarius reveals a fabulous flow of doubloons into the bullish coffers, courtesy of this tragically successful enterprise. As mischievous Mercury disports himself in nitwit Gemini, you employ smiling, communicative little persons to plan routes, sell tickets to the public and engage in inane converse with anyone who waves money in the direction of the cash registers.

    Vamping Venus eclipses the great Sol Invicti as ghastly planets hobnob in hideous aspects and little bullish phantoms fly about the town, singing gleefully and entertaining the marks. You introduce helicopters and powerboats to the tour schedules as the New Moon comes in fatuous Gemini.

    Mischievous Mercury dances ahead while the great Sol Invicti brings the Solstice as he moves into neurotic Cancer. Business is booming, little bullish boofheads! Marauding Mars moves into Leo and your solar fourth house so you fall in love with a dancer or an actor, engage in a vigorous round of bedroom athletics and redecorate the domicile in various shades of orange. All is well in the world of horn and hoof, little bovine things!

    Or is it? Sober Saturn clashes with nasty Neptune while waiting for mischievous Mercury to conjoin with him in your solar third house. You’re busily engaged in meetings with accountants and planning sessions for the future but begin to feel strangely fatigued. Vamping Venus reaches station, squaring idiot Uranus, and then begins to move forward again and you feel strangely scattered. You see smiling faces everywhere you look but they’re not the faces in the room. Strange landscapes pass before your eyes and then vanish. Your hands shake! Cold sweat breaks out upon your fevered brow.

    Great gods alive and dead, little bulls! What’s happening to you? Click here next month and see!

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