Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Welcome to the bulls a la Taurannosaurus Ox! Ho to you, great blundering things! Prepare for the battering boot heels and swinging belt buckles of odious October to rain down blows upon your soft rear ends and unprotected pates! It's been said before that money can't buy happiness, but it should be equally apparent to all creatures (even those as slow and pedestrian as your good bullish selves) that happiness can't buy money either.
How that may relate to the events of the coming month I have no idea, but it seems a good point to make on the trail of the jaundiced and cynical thinking in which I specialize (for lack of better occupation). As odious October begins, Venus the goddess is making cosmic mayhem with underworld Pluto. You'll either be doing tantric yoga with a dark and mysterious individual (your life coach and new sexual partner) or purchasing sexual services because every other attempt at entertainment has failed. Make the most of what you get, horned monstrosities! The bill you'll have to pay is just around the corner.
The new School of Ecstatic Harmony & Endless Coition struggles from the outset. As Mercury the messenger turns retrograde in Libra at the FULL MOON in Aries and your solar twelfth house while mighty Mars opposes giant Jupiter, hidden feelings and secret enmities erupt into squabbles and jealous rivalries amongst the mass of students involved in continuous sexual congress. Sounds of back-stabbing can be clearly heard amongst the grinding and groaning of the endless posturing and penetration. Then, as Venus the goddess moves on to square sober Saturn, disputes about money arise as people are disenchanted by the inharmonious environment and start to leave, demanding a refund of their fees. Gadzooks! Who do they think they are, wanting their money back! It's your money now, isn't it? They paid it over, fair and square! Accountants and lawyers become involved as the great Sol Invicti challenges giant Jupiter. So much for ecstatic harmony, little bullish things! This is all getting too hard in absolutely the wrong way. And, what's this that happens now? Venus the goddess wrestles with Chiron and you discover your life coach in endless ecstatic coition with one of the junior students (or was that two? It was quite hard to see given the relative positions of entry, theirs to the body, yours to the room).
As the Lunar Nodes change signs and mighty Mars wrestles with the great Sol Invicti, you flee from this house of ill repute and head back to your life on the riverboat, hoping to wrest control of the evolution of Les E. Rect, sex therapist, once more. Perhaps you never should have left? This is what retrograde Mercury will do, little future shoes and dinners! It will send you spinning into confusion with regard to where to go and what to do and (in this case being in Libra) with whom to do it. Oh well! Who cares! Not I!
After much anguished discussion and a threat that you will launch the bodyguards into a demonstration of their skills, you come up with a new deal as Venus the goddess enters Libra and the NEW MOON comes on October 15th. Old ghostwriters are sacked and new ones are hired and life on the river goes on. When the great Sol Invicti moves into Scorpio and your solar seventh house, you decide to start an affair with one of the underlings from the media empire as it's a week since you last had sex. Mercury the messenger moves forward and so does your life. Then, when mighty Mars the warrior moves into Aquarius and your solar tenth house at the end of odious October, the idea comes. Start up the School of Ecstatic Harmony & Endless Coition as a virtual tantric yoga school on the web, with the redoubtable Les at its virtual head. Pleasure, money and no jealous rivalries or improper bonking. Everyone can have sex with everyone without actually having sex with anyone. It'll be like the Sixties without herpes. What a load of bull, eh! See you next month, little steaks on the hoof.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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