Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Salutations, little over-washed virgins! Greetings for the month of jaundiced June! On it is with the scrubbing for which your sign is justly famous! And on it is with the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of jaundiced June!
Giant Jupiter and mystic Neptune clash in the Heavens, activating matters in your solar twelfth and sixth houses. As you're greeting the yoga master who's arrived at the door of your new mountain retreat and sexual health clinic, you fall into an ecstatic transport. You faint away to the floor. Fortunately, there's none of that frothing or foaming at the mouth business and you keep control of all your bodily functions. It's a purely spiritual experience, isn't it, my little virginal nincompoops!
Sober Saturn moves into Cancer and your solar eleventh house and the master takes up your prone form and retreats to a distant mountain cave. There you will be unconscious for several days under his tender ministrations, which saves me a little writing. Don't worry, yourselves, little hygiene twits! No one misses you, and certainly no one touches you without washing first, or is that afterwards! I really can't tell! Nonetheless, come the clash of the great Sol Invicti and underworld Pluto, you rise as if from the dead, cleansed of all base thoughts and low vibrations (for those of you who believe in all that nonsense).
A raft of idiotic planets move into odious Gemini while Lady Moon comes to the Full in irritating Sagittarius. The master declares you are second in command to her/him in a global healing network, the like of which has not been seen before in this benighted world ruled by insane gods. The network will rid the world of disease by ridding the human race of base desire. Good luck! Personally, I'd get rid of the human race and accomplish the same thing much more easily.
As mighty Mars clashes with the Lunar Nodes, the sexual component of your healing centre is consigned to yesterday. Only the highest and the most hygienic will prevail! Mighty Mars enters Pisces and you institute a system of punishments, inflicted by willing partners every time a base desire rears its ugly head.
As Mercury the messenger and Venus the goddess challenge underworld Pluto, there's a lot of thrashing going on. The great Sol Invicti conjoins with sober Saturn and the New Moon comes in Cancer. The movement is now ready to launch its crusade, if the bruises heal and everyone can bandage their wounds in time.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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