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Last month saw you renounce a decadent and money-oriented existence and then set off on a spiritual mission to Switzerland. With the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger in the sign of Taurus and your solar ninth house, you arrive in Zurich and immediately enroll in the Swiss Academy of Surface Wiping. You have determined to prepare yourself for the launch of a newly conceived crusade to bring personal and domestic cleanliness to the world at large. With Saturn, lord of fateful reward, and Jupiter, Monarch of the Heavens, in your solar tenth house, it's time for you to aspire to both considered (Saturn) and expansive (Jupiter) achievement, supported, of course, by dexterity of movement (this is pivotal in all good cleaning). After all, we have a global economy, global communications and global travel, why not global hygiene as well? If you'd been in charge of things, global hygiene would have come first, but better late than never, says the virgin if it's in the cause of cleanliness.
When Mercury the messenger moves into Gemini and your solar ninth house, you commence your first official day of study. Though with Venus the goddess in Aries and your solar eighth house of hidden desires, squaring the Lunar Nodes, you keep to yourself, but look around for a little covert dalliance (clean people only need apply). Then, with the FULL MOON in Scorpio and your solar third house on the following day, you immediately draw the attention of your teacher, a pleasantly built individual with a certain mysterious air and a very high standard of personal hygiene. You'd like to discover for yourself if it actually could match your own and so you decide to start an affair with her/him though she/he doesn't yet know of your decision. After all, if you wish to learn the secrets of any calling, then the best way to find them is to get in bed with the source, advice that can be applied both literally and metaphorically.
On May 12th, mighty Mars turns retrograde in Sagittarius and your solar fourth house, bringing turmoil to your home and emotional life. The teenager daughter/son of a friend that you had an affair with last month turns up unexpectedly, claiming that she/he can't live without you. You instruct she/he to get over her/himself in that compassionate but consummately practical manner that all of us who know you know and love (and perhaps dread as well because it usually means we've done something wrong. You dry her/his tears, offering to wash her/his damp clothing and iron it afterwards while handing her/him a mop and bucket to clean up the damp patch that her/his tears have made on the floor. You then enroll the poor waif at the academy in the faint hope that she/he will learn something about personal hygiene and then you prattle on about how important it is to remain friends afterwards. After all, you can't let emotional matters stand in the way of your crusade for global hygiene.
In the meantime, your teacher (she/he knows about the proposed affair since you offered to screw her/him) is pleased with your efforts, both between the sheets and laundering them afterwards. In fact, the whole academy is so stunned at your personal standards of cleanliness that they offer to make you a Swiss national treasure and allow you to advance from the lower ranks to the highest stream of students in a matter of days. This all takes place just as the great Sol Invicti moves into Gemini and your solar tenth house. When the NEW MOON comes in Gemini on May 23rd, you're offered part time work to support your studies. The job is to help organize the rosters (virgins and lists, eh!) for the Swiss Guard who protect the papacy and the Vatican, the sovereign Catholic state that lies just across the way from the tiny little island of cleanliness that is now your adopted country. This job comes by way of your teacher, who's also heavily involved in the Swiss Defence Force. There's a deep fascination around all this for you for your sign rules the profession of policing and coppers in general. Obvious really as the virgin loves to pry into everyone's affairs and see that they're doing things the right way, just like the coppers. And, such an appointment may only be the beginning of yet another phase in your crusade for global hygiene. Get scrubbing, you virgins! A clean world awaits!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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