Asperitus Casting Runes...
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- Greetings, abstemious and anal intensive nitwits! A thousand blessings on your hyperactive minds and irritating powers of analysis! Doubtless you're busy telling someone out there about the proper way to do something or other. Doubtless too it's a method known only to persons of your infuriating sign and can only be practiced after detailed training under the Virgin's stern, discerning eye.
And doubtless I shall become ill if I continue in this vein. Let's put this drivel to one side and bring other drivel to the fore, namely the vile and bitter prognostications for ominous October. Here they are, virginal imbeciles! Read them and weep!
The great Sol Invicti clashes with sober Saturn and cranky Chiron, thus you put aside all thoughts of great causes and global hygiene and go about the business of earning much needed money. With Mercury the messenger in Libra and Venus the goddess in Scorpio, you will no doubt get one of those irritating jobs where you have to deal with the public and explain things to them. Ye gods that I should ever stoop so low! But what am I saying? That's what I'm doing here and now! No wonder I'm feeling unwell.
Anyway, back to the tale of the useful virgin. So you're working. However, come the Full Moon in odious Aries, you begin to feel somewhat restive (it comes in your solar eighth house of sex and death). As you no longer recycle bandages for the Third World, your affair with the charities liaison officer is over since the rewards of it were not worth the effort of travel. It's really so much simpler when they just turn up and you can get it over and done with on location!
Never mind! Almost immediately a rather attractive looking individual turns up at your place of work, seeking the very advice you're paid to give. How fortunate! It must be the influence of jolly Jupiter in your sign. She/he turns out to be a therapist of some kind (aren't they always) and shows a deal of interest in you. Even more fortuitously, you find yourself sharing the same public transport home (saving money and caring for the environment). You fall to talking enthusiastically. As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into gloomy Scorpio, bringing a New Moon in that sign, she/he offers you the position of receptionist at her/his clinic. You accept and begin work the following day.
The premises pass your initial inspection and, as sober Saturn moves in reverse motion, your charming employer introduces you to her/his elderly parents who occupy a granny flat at the rear of the clinic. They are equally clean and tidy and thus also pass inspection.
By the time that Mercury the messenger clashes with nasty Neptune, you're indulging in improper conduct with your new employer in the apothecary room, putting creases in that crisp and clean new uniform of yours. She/he then invites you to a Halloween party at the family manse in the country. Things are looking up, little virginal nitwits! Or is there more trick than treat afoot? Click here next month and see!
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 Aries, the Ram
 Taurus, the Bull
 Gemini, the Twins
 Cancer, the Crab
 Leo, the Lion
 Virgo, the Virgin
 Libra, the Scales
 Scorpio, the Scorpion
 Sagittarius, the Archer
 Capricorn, the Sea Goat
 Aquarius, the Water Bearer
 Pisces, the Fishes
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