 aries  taurus  gemini  cancer  leo  virgo  libra  scorpio  sagittarius  capricorn  aquarius  pisces |
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 Asperitus Casting Runes... |
A cautious salutation to the critical factor! I choose my words carefully in case you should take something amiss in that irritating, analytical way that you have. Despite any appearance to the contrary, it is a known fact that the virgin is not what she/he seems. In public, she/he is a model citizen and conscientious worker, but in private what do we find? She/he swears like a raw but potent mix of artillery man and fishwife, is a hotbed of hidden sexual perversion and will participate in foul and depraved satanic rites at the drop of a garment or the merest inversion of a crucifix. We all know the apparent correctness of demeanour is merely that, an appearance, a constructed behavioural model calculated to deceive the ignorant and uninitiated.
While applauding the otherwise acerbic honesty of which your sign is capable when it comes to pointing out the faults of others, and indeed yourselves as well, it should be said, there lies beneath that cold but neurotic exterior another creature altogether, a living and monstrous deception. This is a being of such exquisite depravity as would leave even the scorpion gasping for breath, or the egotistical ram wondering (with the limited capacity they have for such a task) what depths of selfish cruelty the mere human animal could sink to. So, did the pagan rites call you, little virgins? Have you served the ancient gods as they serve you? As the shadows gathered for Halloween, did you disport yourselves in the morass of fearsome depravity required by the jealous gods and elder demons of a bygone era? Did you make the dark (but spotlessly clean) temple of your body into a playground for the jolly doings of ghosts and ghouls on All Hallow's Eve? Did you have truck with the master on the dark night of the soul known as Samhain? What's that you say? You went to bed early with a good book on self-improvement! The Good Soul's Guide to Enlightenment and Spotless Surfaces you say! Well, stick to your story then, little virgins, but I, Asperitus, the oracle of bitter know what really happened. I know your inner workings like the back of my hand (I see this feature so often as I raise and drain yet another tankard of anaesthetic, taken against the pain of this tedious existence). Enough of this ludicrous tripe! Let's get down to the business at hand, the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of noxious November. As the FULL MOON comes on November 1st, it illuminates the sign of Taurus and your solar ninth house while the Lady Moon and the great Sol Invicti clash with mystic Neptune and mighty Mars. You may find yourself struck with uncertainty and fear as you realize you have given up your sacred quest (the Society for Worry and Complaint) in favour of regular work, financial stability and regular sex with a clean partner of your choice. Oh agony, little virgins! How can this be? Of course your sign is always concerned for the practical matters of daily living, but does not service to the greater cause come first? But there's barely a moment for such considerations. As mighty Mars conjoins with mystic Neptune, it's head down, bum up and on with the job (for a variety of reasons, let me say). And then, as Mercury the messenger and Venus the goddess move into Scorpio and your solar third house, you're drawn deeper into the world of finance and polished buttons (the military personage, remember! Try to keep up). But, as Mercury the messenger and Venus the goddess make tension with mystic Neptune, your find your spirits flagging and your work beginning to suffer. Then, as the great Sol Invicti clashes with revolutionary Uranus, a sudden health crisis knocks you from your new perch. You realize that your health is suffering because you've given up the quest. Que'l horreur! What can you do? As the NEW MOON in Scorpio makes mischief with revolutionary Uranus, you decide upon a course of action. You'll turn to crime and embezzle the funds you need to finance the Society for Worry and Complaint. While the act is blatantly dishonest, it is nonetheless the duty of those who have money to contribute, knowingly or not, to such a worthy cause. As a result of a series of tedious aspects too hideous to describe between a large number of planets too boring to recount, you begin siphoning of the necessary monies. You also return to work in the house of ill-repute you left last month because of wear and tear (evening shifts only) in a concerted effort to raise further funds to get things moving. As the great Sol Invicti moves into Sagittarius and your solar fourth house, your life of crime seems to be going well. You store the stolen funds in secret accounts and also in a false pocket expertly sewn in to the thigh guards you wear when riding your exer-cycle (one can never be too careful, you know). Will you raise the money to fund your great dream or will the minions of law and order discover your criminal doings and come (in their nice clean uniforms) to take you away? Who cares! Come back next month and see if I can be bothered making up yet more of this drivel. Farewell, little virgins!  |
 Aries, the Ram  Taurus, the Bull  Gemini, the Twins  Cancer, the Crab  Leo, the Lion  Virgo, the Virgin  Libra, the Scales  Scorpio, the Scorpion  Sagittarius, the Archer  Capricorn, the Sea Goat  Aquarius, the Water Bearer  Pisces, the Fishes |
