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TIRESOME TAURUS...	—Asperitus Signs— Asperitus Speaks Nhill, holy city Aries Asp (March/April) Taurus Asp (April/May) Gemini Asp (May/June) Cancer Asp (June/July) Leo Asp (July/Aug) Virgo Asp (Aug/Sept) Libra Asp (Sept/Oct) Scorpio Asp (Oct/Nov) Sagittarius Asp (Nov/Dec) Capricorn Asp (Dec/Jan) Aquarius Asp (Jan/Feb) Pisces Asp (Feb/Mar)
The Irksome Journeys of 2003

Greetings, little atrocities of horn and hoof! Venus the goddess begins the year in Scorpio and your solar seventh house, so matters of romance and sexual and fiscal gratification will be high on your 'do' list. Then, as the Lunar Nodes move into your sign and that of Scorpio in the middle of awful April, you will have a marvellous time, carousing and even canoodling with all and sundry, but in particular with members of the inane bovine species and your opposite, the scorpion. You will doubtless fall in love with a Scorpio you knew in a past life. They will then betray you or steal your money, as persons of their sign are wont to do. When sober Saturn moves into Cancer and your solar third house, you'll mope around and not say anything for a while, but when giant Jupiter moves into Virgo and your solar fifth house, you'll make a fortune speculating in the Swiss mark. You will then develop a gambling addiction, but you'll be so rich it won't really matter. Why your sign should be thus favoured is a mystery to me, but there you are!

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Updated: Monday, 17 March 2008